


Potterstuck [Where A Crossover Becomes Homestuck]

by TwinKats



Series: Potterstuck [2]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Homestuck
Genre: But whatever, F/M, Gen, Homestuck - Freeform, behold my ever so shitty art, can't change text color on it, fan comic, hate it, homestuck game mechanics meshed in an au harry potter world, if that makes any fucking sense, it's potterstuck, name swaps, on tumblr, possible connect to waxing pale, put her because tumblr is stupid, shenannigans, that's all i really have to say, very slow updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-28 20:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinKats/pseuds/TwinKats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an Apocolyptic Universe eight kids play a familiar game....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ==> Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potterstuck: In an Apocalyptic Universe seven friends play a familiar game….

 

# ==> Start

###                Potterstuck: In an Apocalyptic Universe seven friends play a familiar game….

 

## 

**== >**

A young man stands at the edge of a treeline, watching two kids play in a neighbors yard. He is waiting for SOMETHING to happen. After all TODAY is a day of GREAT CHANGE.

What is his name?

 

## 

**== > Red Headed Troublemaker**

While most certain this young man is a red head, and definitely a trouble maker of some report, that is unfortunately not his name. In fact it just confuses him _._

_  
Try Again_

 

## 

**== > Gingerbread Man**

_Seriously?_  This is because he’s a red head with freckles, isn’t it. Jerk.

_Try. **Again.**_

 

## 

**== >Fabian Prewett**

Yes! That’s it right there! There you go!

#  **== >Be Fabian Prewett**


	2. ==> Be Fabian Prewett

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is FABIAN PREWETT and you happen to be one of two.

# ==>

  


Your name is FABIAN PREWETT and you happen to be one of two.

The two, of course, is reference to your TWIN BROTHER for whom you are waiting. He is supposed to be getting the SOMETHING OF GREAT CHANGE and then meeting you here. The both of you have MANY PLANS most of which you mean PRANKS to pull on your FRIENDS of which there are FIVE. Still, you’d wish he’d hurry up. You can get only so much entertainment out of watching these two kids play off in the field before your boredom level piques and you just have to pull a prank.

Now what?

## 

==> Resist Urge To Prank

Now why would you do that? You’ve never resisted the urge to prank before, and since your boredom level just piqued you’re well on your way to pranking those two kids out there. You snicker evilly to yourself.

#### #FABIAN'S GONNA DO IT #HE CAN'T BEAT THE URGE

## 

==> Prank Unsuspecting Kids

 There. You’ve pranked them. Granted that was mild for you, but it satisfied the itch. Sort of.

#### 

## 

==> Proceed to Prank Again

Alright, so maybe the urge wasn’t satisfied yet. Let’s do this again.

#### #YEAH THAT FIRST ROUND WAS CRAP #DIDN'T REALLY HELP #LETS GO AGAIN

## 

==> Again

#### #NOT YET DONE #THAT URGE IS STILL THERE #SO MORE SHITTY PRANKS

## 

==> Again

#### #MORE #WE;RE STILL GOING STRONG

## 

==> Again

#### #OKAY FABIAN #WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP NOW

## 

==> Again

#### #OKAY #SERIOUSLY FABIAN #STOP NOW #THEY'LL BEGIN TO NOTICE SOON

## 

==>

Oh, yes, this is a great stress reliever. You should get bored more often.

#### #SURE #GREAT STRESS RELIEVER #FUCKING PRANKSTERS #FUCKING FABIAN

## 

==> !!

Oh please, it was just a little harmless fu—

Wait.

What was that?

## 

==> Check On Victims

You definitely heard some sort of strange sound, like a bellow of rage off in the distance. Perhaps you should check on your victi—err, those kids you cast a few harmless pranks at. Just to be, you know, on the safe side.

## 

==> Be Noticed

_Ohcrapohmerlincrapcrapcrapcrapcrapyoucan’tbelieveitohmerlinnoshitdamnnononononono_

It looks like the dragon she-beast has noticed you. She’s even holding her finger up, pointed and angry, spewing curses in your general direction. The blond boy has disappeared, and she’s making her way towards you, all of your pranks now washed away in her very, very dangerous fury.

The only promising bit of all this is that she’s not got her wand out but then, in her case that really isn’t promising at all. Casting spells would be a kindness, for when she doesn’t use spells, well…you’ll leave the thought there because its too horrible to contemplate.

Now what are you going to do?  _She’s coming right at you!_  


## 

_== > Strife!_

No way! You don’t want to STRIFE your SISTER! Your MUM would kill you! Figuratively speaking of course. What else can you do?

## 

==> Abscond!

Ah, yes, that you can do. Quickly you flee into the trees and as far away from the rampaging dragon woman as you can get before she can catch you. You’ll have to meet your brother elsewhere, this area has now been compromised.

# ==> Oh, What Do We Have Here?


	3. ==> Oh, What Do We Have Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It looks like you’ve reached the famed Selection Screen.

# ==> Oh, What Do We Have Here?

It looks like you’ve reached the famed  _Selection Screen._ Apparently you can’t be Fabian anymore, as he’s too busy fleeing from his enraged sister. You’ll have to find someone else to be in the meanwhile. So who do you choose?

## 

==> Be The Long Curly Haired Chick

For all of maybe five seconds you attempt to be the LONG CURLY HAIRED CHICK and all you can feel is a TERRIFYING RAGE that shunts you immediately over to this guy.

Who is he?

## 

==> Frank Longbottom

The simple fact that you have his name exactly correct on the first try merits you not even a simple checkmark of approval. Good job! Or was it more simply because you didn’t even try to give him a name that enabled your correctness on the first try….? Oh well, who cares.

# ==> Be Frank Longbottom


	4. ==> Be Frank Longbottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is not much to say for yourself except that your name is FRANK LONGBOTTOM and you are undoubtedly SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.

# ==> Introduce Yourself

There is not much to say for yourself except that your name is FRANK LONGBOTTOM and you are undoubtedly SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. You live with your GRANDMOTHER in an old house, although the nice pale blue walls and modern looking bedroom wouldn’t hint at it. Your bedroom is actually very SPARTAN, settled with nothing more than your BED, a TABLE, a WINDOW, a WARDROBE, and a DESK LITTERED WITH PAPERS. You’re more of a GEEK mixed with a DORK than any of your other friends, and you have a frightening sense of CAUTION and CONSTANT VIGILANCE. This makes you come off awkwardly to your friends whom consider you THAT ODD OVERLY ANALYTICAL FREAK. You don’t mind the term, since you’d prefer to be OVERLY ANALYTICAL than COMPLETELY UNOBSERVANT like some people you know. Right now, though, you think you should head over to your window and take the letter off of ARCHIMEDES, your owl. He’s very impatient, much like the friend who gifted him to you.

## 

==> Go To Archimedes

You head over to your little grey owl Archimedes and take the rolled up bit of parchment from him with a sigh. You already know the letter can be from one of two people. It is either  **riskyChaser**  or  **freeSpirit**  contacting you for whatever reason. They tend to use owl post the most out of all of your friends, being the most out of touch with what has been going on within the Wizarding World. You hope they took the proper precautions for once, whoever it is that sent you this.

## 

==> Read Letter

hey ls,

looks like dd is getting their shit together  
we’ll be startin this thing in no time freak  
so don’t go draggin me down  
haha just kiddin man shit  
anyway you hear from them yet?  
they’re being frightin’ly silent  
oh and fs was wonderin if you could talk to ‘em on jc about her contribution  
same old bs if you ask me  
and if you would make sure looney ain’t with my girl I’d be totes apprec  
anyway freak see your ugly mug soon

Oh no. Oh no he didn’t. He  _didn’t_.

## 

==> Do the Facepalm of Utter Shame and Horror

Archimedes flies off as you turn around with crumpled letter in hand and facepalm out of utter shame and horror. You knew it was a possibility, but you had honestly hoped that they wouldn’t. You had hoped that they had brains. Apparently they don’t. You already knew this, of course, but still.

_Why did he have to sign it like that?_

Ugh. The idiot.

## 

==> Go Berate Idiot

## 

==>

####  #THE MANOR IS DARK #AND COLD #AND VERY MUCH GOTHIC

## 

==>

#### #BEING OLD IT IS FILLED WITH MANY SECRET PASSAGEWAYS #THERE ARE MORE REASONS TO IT #THERE ALWAYS ARE #YOU GRANDMOTHER THANKFULLY DOESN'T KNOW OF THIS ONE #OTHERWISE YOU'D BE IN TROUBLE

## 

==>

#### #THE PASSAGES ARE DIRTY #BUT LIGHTER #THEY LEAD INTO A CAVE SYSTEM UNDERGROUND #IT IS WHERE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED HIDDEN

## 

==> Turn Computer On And Troll riskyChaser

riskyChaser began trolling lucidShaman

RC: hey shaman about time you showed up  
RC: I sent that owl what ten minutes ago?  
LS: Your handwriting is atrocious Chaser  
RC: heh, sure. Did you do what I asked?  
LS: Also, what have I told you about putting your sign on a letter?  
LS: Are you trying to get as all caught and tortured to death?  
RC: hey shaman chill okay  
RC: I ain't puttin anyone at risk. I know what I'm doin  
LS: No, Chaser, you don't.  
RC: who is the leader of us rebs now? Is it you?  
LS: No. It is not you either.  
RC: heh, yeah, sure, you keep thinkin it ain't awesome me  
RC: now did you do what I asked or not freak?  
LS: Not yet, Chaser.  
LS: You do realize how risky it is to sign yourself like that?  
LS: I mean you might like putting your own life in danger, but don't include mine!  
RC: ow man quit bein so cautious  
RC: fuck I think you actually hurt me there  
RC: don't you see risky in my name?  
RC: I take risks, you know this  
RC: so quit your bitchin and do what I asked already  
RC: I wanna make sure my girl ain't bein perved on by Looney  
RC: and spirit's been bitchin about champion again  
RC: so if you would alleviate her pretty little head I'd be totes apprec  
RC: cuz her bitchin and whinin about how champion is all evil and out to kill us is gratin on my nerves  
RC: I know its the usual bs but still  
LS: Merlin, I forgot how annoying you are.  
LS: And yes, you might be risky, but I am not.  
LS: Next time you wish to send a letter and have me do something for you take the proper precautions!  
LS: And don't call him Looney!  
LS: Just because Fence has an unusual upbringing does not make him Looney. He's quite an interesting conversationalist with innovative ideas for keeping alive.  
LS: Once you can decipher them, that is. He's inherited his father's code.  
RC: oh really? More of the cautious bs?  
RC: look I know your parents bit it and that's why you're all paranoid but shit, freak, tone it down okay?  
RC: your fine right? All safe and sound?  
RC: and I'll call Looney whatevs I want  
RC: just do what I asked  
RC: I need to go pacify my neighbor

riskyChaser ceased trolling lucidShaman

LS: Hey, I wasn't done yet!  
LS: Chaser get back here right now! I know you have a mobile on you!  
LS: Chaser! I'm serious!  
LS: A breach of security is a dangerous thing!  
LS: And yes my parents' situation is a source of caution, but honestly Chaser.  
LS: I thought you of all people would understand. Aren't you in exile because of your parents?  
LS: Chaser, respond.  
LS: Chaser.  
LS: Balls.

## 

==>

You really, really, hate that guy.

#REALLY #HE'S SUCH AN IDIOT #AND HE HITS ALL OF YOUR BUTTONS #YOU DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE FRIENDS

## 

==>

Oh, great. Now it's _her._

Merlin damn it all can this day get any _worse?_

#YOU'RE NOT QUITE SURE IF YOU WANT TO KNOW #THIS DAY IS ALREADY FRUSTRATING AS IT IS

## 

==> Yes

You just had to think it didn't you.

## 

==> Not Thinking About It

You are trying desperately to ignore how much worse this day is getting.

## 

==> Merlin

Oh Merlin.

No.

## 

==> NOPE

NOPE.

You are so done.

## 

==> You're On The Nope Train To Fuck-This-Ville

You are steadfastedly ignoring the mess of alerts going on above your head. You remain curled up under your desk, settling down for a long haul on the nope train to fuck-this-ville. You really just don’t want to deal with this shit.

####  #REALLY ALL THEY DO IS COMPLAIN # LIKE YOU ARE SOME RECIPTICLE FOR IT #WHY CANT THEY JUST GET ALONG FOR ONCE AND STOP BOTHERING YOU? #UGH

## 

==> Degrade to Crying

You break the forth wall to deliver this singular message to the idea of degrading into a fit of tears: “Oh why don’t you kindly go jump off of the nearest tall building and do us all a favor. It’s not that bad. Honestly. Some blokes these days.”

## 

==> Then Suck It Up!

You start to suck it up when—-suddenly you find yourself at the famed Selection Screen again….

#  ==>Attempt to be the Tentacle Haired Chick Again 


	5. ==>You Attempt To Be The Tentacle Haired Chick Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You attempt to be the tentacle haired chick again. You ultimately fail.

# ==>You Attempt To Be The Tentacle Haired Chick Again

For all of a second you are the tentacle haired chick before she vanishes and leaves you in a bare room. Wait, what?

####  #YOU INEVITABLY FAIL

## 

==>EXPLAIN THIS WITCHCRAFT

Blearily you sit up from you plush waterbed, rub at your eyes, and murmur, “What witchcract?” to yourself.

Apparently the room isn’t bare after all, you were just asleep. Now what is your name?

####  #YAAAAAAAWN

## 

==>Flamey McSpazz

You narrow your eye at the name, trying to bring it into focus despite your poor vision. Oh well, seems correct you guess.

####  #YOU HOPE ITS CORRECT #IF ITS NOT THAT'S GONNA SUCK

# ==>Be Flamey McSpazz


	6. ==>Be Flamey McSpazz.......?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something doesn't seem right with this picture....

# ==>Introduce Yourself

Why. No, seriously, why. You are bleary eyed, tired, and you just woke up. You haven’t even unearthed where ever your glasses have gotten to in your sleep. Why would you deign an introduction when you are in this state? Honestly.

####  #YEAH NO #NOT RIGHT NOW

## 

==>Put On Vision Enhancers And Try Again

You would if you knew where they even were. Unfortunately you don’t. They get tossed around so much when you sleep after all.

####  #WELL DUH #IF ONLY YOU COULD FIND THEM

## 

==>Hoot Like An Owl Flamey

You must be more tired than you thought since the strangest thought passed through your mind. Hoot like an owl? Really? Must be a remnant of a dream….

## 

==>Come On Flamey

Yeah, no, the idea is utterly ridiculous now that you’re awake and not dreaming. Although that urge…it’s so strong….

#### #YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO IT THOUGHT #IT MIGHT BE THIS BURNING NEED THAT YOU HAVE TO DO #EXCEPT YOU DONT #FREE WILL AND ALL THAT

## 

==>Damn it Flamey!

You flop back and double bird the walls behind you with a cry of, “I do what I want!” and a whoomph. You just don’t care anymore.

## 

==>Accio the Damn Vision Enhancers

Why didn’t you think of that before?

## 

==>

You flop over and slide your hand up under your pillow, grasping the smooth mahogany hilt of your wand, and shout a muffled accio focusing on the image of your vision enhan— _glasses._ They’re glasses. You don’t know why your thoughts are so weird sometimes.

#### #REALLY BRAIN #VISION ENHANCERS? #WE'RE NOT SOME WEIRD ALIEN CULTURE ON AN ALIEN PLANET #WE USE ENGLISH HERE

## 

==>

Oh yeah, that’s better. Now…

#### #YES

## 

==>

MERLINS SOGGY SACK NO!

## 

==>Eridan Ampora

Yeah, no, that’s not right. Granted you _do_ have that one cousin no one talks about, but still no.

## 

==>James Granger

There you go! That’s it! That’s your name.

#  ==>Be James Granger 


	7. ==>Be James Granger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are JAMES GRANGER and you are FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is incomplte

# 

==>Okay Now Introduce Yourself

Your name is JAMES GRANGER and you are FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. You live with you MUM and DAD in the MUGGLE WORLD. Your MUM and DAD happen to be members of an underground resistance movement which means you’re supposed to be EXTRA CAUTIOUS but really it just makes you TAKE MORE RISKS which you love doing anyway. You love QUIDDITCH and have thousands of posters all around your walls. Your room is done up in GRYFFINDOR colors because GRYFFINDOR’S are the best even if you’ve never attended HOGWARTS and never will. You’re a bit of a JERK and kind of RUDE really but you think that just makes you all the more CHARMING.

## 

==>Log Onto Trollian

You take the five or so steps over to your computer, which is Gryffindor Gold, and boot it up. With seconds you’re logged into Trollian with the touch of a button.

Looks like only three of your friends are online right now. Your neighbor, freeSpirit, the vile overprotective twins dualDevilry (or one of them, at least, you won’t know until you see the text), and judgementalChampion, the cold heartless snake.

## 

==>Troll judgementalChampion

riskyChaser began trolling judgementalChampion

RC: hey champion what up?  
JC: Besides the sun? Nothing, save the plans  
RC: yeah okay about that  
RC: anythin you wanna share more or no  
RC: like when shit's gonna go down or what  
RC: cuz devilry aint sayin shit lately  
JC: Firstly, they don't make sense either way  
JC: One speakes riddles while the other speaks lies  
JC: Second, I don't have much to explain at the present  
JC: The irons are currently being warmed in their respective fires, and shall be worked as they reach glowing readiness ;) RC: okay but that's not what I was askin  
RC: this game thing you got devilry doin RC: when's it gonna be ready? RC: cuz like shit is hella borin when you're stuck in exile RC: or are you forgettin that fact since you live up in some nice posh mansion place gettin fed grapes and whatevs else is to your fancy RC: while your 'progenitors' suck dick and lick the boots of the madman who up and makes it so that I'm forced to live as far away from my lovable fiery siren RC: also can you tell Loony to quit talkin to her? RC: she's taken  
JC: Calm those perverbial tits  
JC: The plan is progressing... well slower than schedualed, but within reason  
JC: Mostly from the twins playing their games  
JC: Sadly there isn't much I can do to convince them to increase their productivity.  
JC: And Leave my cousin out of this. He isn't hurting anything. Don't be jealouse that he has more oppurtunity to converse with the ginger in question.  
RC: I'm not jealous  
RC: jealous is not a thing I am  
RC: I just don't like the influence Loony has on her  
JC: Really? He's harmless  
RC: harmless?  
RC: maybe  
RC: whatevs you don't get it  
RC: nobody seems to get it  
RC: brb Spirit's sayin somethin  
JC: Fine, I shall attempt to whip those two into shape as I wait eagerly for your return.

## 

==>Answer Chum

freeSpirit began pestering riskyChaser

FS: jay.  
FS: hey. jay.  
FS: hellooooo. answer. jay.  
FS: stop talkin to. her. jay.  
FS: jay. stop. you.  
FS: you are just. puttin yourself. risk.  
FS: jay.  
RC: what?!  
RC: can't you see I'm busy here? Do you have to bother me right now?  
FS: i. understand.  
FS: but. jay. look. we have somethin. more important to. worry about.  
FS: like. what she has. influenced dual. and devilry. to add.  
RC: you mean champion? Merlin can't you let that antagonism go already?  
RC: shit girl we know already! You hate her bitchin tits. Whatevs okay?  
FS: this. has nothin. to do with my. personal feelins. and everythin. to do with her.  
RC: duh you are pretty obvs with your shit storm of a hatemance  
RC: hey is your mum in by any chance?  
FS: no. and i would prefer. you to stop hittin. on her.  
RC: no? Don't she know how dangerous it is out there?  
FS: better than. you.  
FS: just. jay. please.  
FS: pester devilry. would you. he is online.  
FS: i just. need to know. what she did. so i can stop it. like i am. meant to.  
RC: sometimes I don't get how a hot babe like your mum went and had someone as whacked out as you  
RC: you really take the cake girl  
FS: do. i.  
RC: yes  
FS: XD  
RC: hah there's the emotion! Alright, fine, I'll pester him for you. I don't see why you don't just do it yourself though.  
RC: aren't you two related?  
FS: hidin. what. else.  
RC: oh right I almost forgot your mum must've been pretty famous once too. Back when the Rebs didn't suck so much ass?  
FS: go. bugger. your own. fuckin. ass. jay. and contract. an std. dick.

freeSpirit ceased pestering riskyChaser

RC: girl your teeth suck. Put them back where they belong.  
RC: but just because I'm a nice guy I'll go ahead and do what you asked.  
RC: about pester devilry. Sorry but I'm just not up for buggerin myself.  
RC: gotta save it for my hot milf and my flower  


# 

[==> Enter A Command](http://fuckyeahpotterstuck.tumblr.com/ask)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is incomplete


End file.
